I
dear Elise
losing my grip again like that time
a few years ago the cure is English mysteries
you were always Ethel to my Lucy c’mon
Elise it’ll be fun do you think we should Aimee
in Boulder everything is allowed
we brought that on through our well-spent youth
the kids tether me but that’s all
but you maybe too tethered could never go back East
all that underwear all those matching shows
will turning forty be an anticlimax
have we been secretly middle-aged for years
your client with the multiple selves
is she really all that crazy
II
all that underwear all those matching shoes
in Boulder everything is allowed
but some more allowed than others
I put all my jewelry in the safe deposit
and my shrink clothes diagnose their hangers
the kids tether me but that’s ask
student council speeches packing lunches
thank God for all that work
when they go to college I’ll make their room
a shrine sit on the bottom bunk and cry
have we been secretly middle-aged for years
don’t you miss the Sixties
everyone so excited all the time
with no consequences
III
used to fantasize about sex or acid
or rock concerts or sec on acid at rock concerts
but now fantasize about sleeping
long languorous sessions in bed
and I mean sleeping
what is this den-mother-by-day-
beat-poet-by-night shit maybe I’m
obscenely tired but doing less would be legal
with no consequences
all that underwear all those matching shoes
idle hands or whatever you Gentiles say
your client with the multiple selves
is she really all that crazy
IV
when they go to college I’ll make their room
a shrine sit on the bottom bunk and cry
isn’t that when people see their spouses
for the first time in years the first time
bit rushing off to a meeting or field trip or sleepover
get see their mate of twenty years
the kids gone the house quiet and they say
what the fuck are you doing here
get out of my face
in Boulder everything is allowed
but if I allowed everything the scenery
could get ominous around here
marriage is just a hallucination
it’s all in your mind
V
how to celebrate our fortieth
got any ideas
all my ideas involve raping undergraduates
or even high school guys in leather jackets
mothers hide your cub scouts
you were always Ethel to my Lucy c’mon
what is this den-mother-by-day-
beat-poet-by-night shit maybe I’m
losing my grip again like that time
a few years ago the cure is English mysteries
warm milk and an early curfew
but what’s the cure for that
don’t you miss the Sixties
everyone so excited all the time
VI
dear Elise maybe I should start over
some lucid afternoon when mountains
look poetic and sonatas fill the air
then you’d get poignant portraits of family life
and charming stories of way out west
so everyone back home on the gold coast
would miss me well I don’t miss them
all that underwear all those matching shoes
all those Best & Company haircuts
cunning cannoli from Little fucking Italy
in Boulder everything is allowed
mothers hide your cub scouts
losing my grip again like that time
warm milk and an early curfew
VII
have you noticed there are taboo subjects
all of a sudden things you can’t talk about
marriage is just a hallucination
so why isn’t it okay to say
this trip is just a rerun or
I saw this epiphany once on Ed Sullivan
but what’s the cure for that
I put all my jewelry in the safe deposit
and feel much more secure now
in Boulder everything is allowed
except having too much and showing it
too much of the wrong thing anyway
how to celebrate our fortieth
got any ideas
VIII
but if I allowed everything the scenery
could get ominous around here
all those Best &Company haircuts
they did instill pride in appearance
something to fall back on
should all else fail
the kids gone the house quiet and they say
at least I had this
and feel much more secure now
people have much less
and are still obscenely grateful
then you’d get poignant portraits of family life
so everyone could relax and not worry
so why isn’t it okay to say