There was the click-clack of pool balls. Ice being scooped from a bucket. The think-clink of glasses. The beeping of a cash register and the shuffling of coins. Laughter. Loud conversation, and on top of that and in the background, stomping country voices screaming outta the jukebox. I breathed in— smoke, moldy carpeting, alcohol, spicy Mexican food. Then I exhaled and relaxed. My territory. The idea was to maintain control by meeting on my turf. This is where the waitress calls me any name. The guys at the bart all nod hello. I wanted to make it seem as if I’d moved on, as if my life was here— in this town, with these people. It didn’t work. As soon as he walked in, that familiar rush ran through me. always the same. Part elation, part nausea, but total weakness. Every woman in the place followed his march to my table. Sparing the physical details, I’ll just say: No guy should look like that,. The deeper stuff came later, but the first time I met him it was about the way he looks. Has to be, right? He and his roommates came over to buy some dope. They stood there, in the doorway, waiting, so I had a decent view. He was looking at a black garbage bag, half-full of the two pounds we’d just scored at Manny Almeida’s in Fox Point. After that night I just plain chased him—cross-examined his friends, audited his classes, changed my to match his. Finally he stood still long enough to be with me. Then he speeded up again. Ran off to California with somebody else. But every once in a while he calls and appears or just appears. That night at the bar played out like it always does. We did tequila shots, with beer chasers. I fell off the wagon and smoked his Export A’s. He complained about her, the way she runs him down and runs through his money. Then we danced until I couldn’t stand it anymore. That place is wild, but public fucking is discouraged. Then of course he stopped me cold, paid the check and left, whispering some sweet untruths into my ear. The room came back into focus. I could hear the pool balls bumping into each other, then dispersing. After a while I pushed my drink away, stood up, and went to look for a game.